Lacuna: Document 10

These are excerpts from transcriptions of the recordings of a bug placed in the office of the CEO of Lacuna Enterprises by an agent working there. We lost contact with the agent several weeks ago, but the bug is still apparently undiscovered.

1st Voice: Enter.

[Door opening, footsteps]

2nd Voice: You asked for me, sir?

1st Voice (CEO): Yes Jenkins. I’d like a new body soon. This one has become a bit boring, and rather worn.

2nd Voice (Jenkins): Of course, sir! Right away. Do you have a particular body in mind?

CEO: Well, yes, as a matter of fact. Yours.

[There is a long moment of silence]

Jenkins: S… sir? I… I don’t understand…

CEO: Oh come now Jenkins, you’re such a bright young lad. Look at you! You’re in the prime of your life, fit and healthy and with a face that’s easy on the eyes. And look at me: pushing forty, grey hair, muscles degrading and fat accumulating. It simply won’t do, and I’ve taking a liking to you, m’boy! You’ll be a fine new CEO.

Jenkins: B… but it w… wouldn’t be me though would it, sir?

CEO: Well, no… not as such.

Jenkins: I… I could find you another body, sir! A…. another one just like me! Better! There are lots of people lots more fit and healthy and handsome than me! I’m not that great, really! But I bet I could find you someone really wonderful! Anyway, wouldn’t it be annoying to try to find a replacement receptionist? Please, sir? Couldn’t it be someone else?

[The CEO sighs]

CEO: No… no, I’m afraid not, Jenkins. You know me, once I’ve set my heart on something there’s just no talking me out of it [he chuckles]. You’re right about the job, but don’t worry about it, I’ll just pop your soul into someone else. And I’ll tell you what, I’ll promote you to Office Manager as a thank you. Now as for bodies… is there anyone in the office who strikes your fancy?

[Another silence]

Jenkins: Well… maybe. It’s just… I… I’ve just grown rather attached to my… to this body, sir.

CEO: Oh, I know. I always get a little nostalgic before I make a switch. But we mustn’t cling to the past, m’boy! Onward and upward, that’s what I always say! Now who’s the lucky fella? Or would you rather try being a lady? It’s a trip, I’ll tell ya!

Jenkins: I… I think I’d rather stay male, sir, especially since this is my first time. I… I suppose I don’t really mind who it is. Someone from the pens would be just fine, so long as they’re… reasonably… ah… easy on the eyes.

[The CEO laughs]

CEO: Good lad! Well let’s go down there together, so you can select someone and I can dispose of this old thing. Shall we?

[Sounds of the CEO getting to his feet]

Well, what are you waiting for?

Jenkins: Sorry, sir. I… I’m a little nervous, that’s all.

CEO: Well sure ya are! It’s a big step. But this is the shape of things to come, m’boy. The future is not for the weak!

[Sounds of Jenkins getting up, then the two of them exiting, and the door closing]


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A Magical Mystery Tour Guide View all posts by MysterMe

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