Lacuna: Document 15

The transcript of an interview with a Class 7 Inter-dimensional Entity. The being was discovered in one of the dry sewer pipes underneath Lacuna by Robert Doppler (see Document 5). He stunned the creature with his electric baton and carried it via various tunnels to the S&SS (Subway & Sewer Systems) Headquarters. Their agents then brought it to an isolation chamber, and when it awoke they attempted to interrogate it. It was recorded by the fish-eye lens closed-circuit camera, and the video was then uploaded to their secure server, though not so secure our operatives could not penetrate it.

There are three men in the room: two in dark suits, and Robert Doppler in his S&SS uniform. The creature stands between the three, in the center of the room, which is bare, with white walls and ceilings, no windows, and a single door flush with the wall to the left of the camera’s field of view. Its form is essentially two sets of tripods. The center of its body is a single cylinder, which branches off into three pieces at both top and bottom. Its upper limbs are boneless but muscular, and each of the three branches twice more for a total of twenty-seven tentacles. Each tiny tentacle terminates in a small sphincter, an opening about a centimeter wide when fully dilated. The bottoms limbs are supported by “bones” of hardened cartilage and only branch twice, for a total of nine “toes”, which are thicker and tougher than the “fingers” and do not have any openings. The bones of the bottom limbs converge to form a spiral “spine” which keeps the central body erect. However, the spine does not support a head: instead, there is simply a single hole at the top of the cylinder, where the limbs converge, and another at the bottom. It seems that this absorbs both all sensory information and sustenance, while the other eliminates waste. There is no identifiable brain: its neural network seems to be fully distributed throughout the body. Its flesh is a mottled mixture of black and white, spider-webbed by red veins. It moves with a wavelike motion, reminiscent of a centipede. It does not speak by producing sound-waves as we do, and presumably its language is extremely different from our own in any case. However, it seems one of the interrogators happened to be Sensitive, or else S&SS is rather more aware and prepared than previously thought. Either way, throughout the interview, it speaks through one of the humans present, whose brain presumably filters the psychic information through its existing language structure, which in this case was English. The voice of the medium takes on a strange, deep, liquid quality. He also speaks with strange cadence and inflection.

Interrogator 1: Where are you from?

Interrogator 2 (Medium for the voice of the Being): We come from an Other Place.

1: Can you be more specific?

2: Where is right angles to everywhere else?

1: I don’t…

2: Of course you do not. Your minds have not yet mutated sufficiently.

1: Do… do you have a name?

2: We are the local cell-cluster of the [strange sound, apparently an untranslatable word] collective. But we are… there is a… blockage. A… barrier. For we are not with ourselves. We are together, but we are alone.

1: How did you come to be in the sewers of this city?

2: We were exploring the depths of the [untranslatable] Labyrinth. We discovered an anomalous concentration of light-music and when we attempted to examine it we were sucked inside. We awoke in a stone cylinder, lying in soiled water. We attempted to navigate the new maze but could not. We found some… plant matter, and attempted to communicate with it, but it was only minimally responsive. So we ate it, and it was good, but it… disagreed with us. So we expelled waste, then slept, and were awoken by that cell-cluster.

[The being points one of its tentacle-clusters at Robert Doppler]

Robert “Bob” Doppler: Don’t point that thing at me! …Those… things.

2: We meant you no harm. We could kill you all with a thought if we wished, however.

Bob: Is that a fact?

2: It is. Your brains contain a large degree of chaotic complexity, and your cell-structure is specialized. A sufficient discharge of radio-electric energy would cause complete neural seizure and catastrophic collapse of all organ function.

Bob: Was that a threat?

2: It was simply a statement of fact.

Bob: Uh huh.

1: Are you saying that your own tissue would not be disrupted by large levels of radiation and electricity?

2: Our cells are… modular. We do not specialize, because there are no… individuals. We are all one. Our unity is our strength.

Bob: Well, how’d ya like a little disunity? [Bob unslings his shotgun and points it at the Being]

1: Bob, no!

[Bob fires. The blast blows away the creature’s midsection, splattering the wall and floor and the “translator” with viscera, and its top half flops to the floor. It bottom half remains standing, however.]

2: Oh God… It’s hurt, sir, but it’s not… [untranslatable] DEATH AND RUIN AND [unstranslatable] UPON THEE, TWO-LEGGED PISS-PARASITES. Oh sweet Jesus it HURTS let me go please God let me go get out of my head!

[The severed top half of the Being begins to slither up the legs, and it replaces itself atop them, though it is significantly shorter now. It points each of its three sets of tentacles at one of the men surrounding it. Light shoots out of them, striking each man, and low humming sound begins in the room. All three men clutch their heads and screech, and blood begins to pour from their facial orifices. However, Bob manages to fire the shotgun once again, hitting the tentacle cluster directly, from almost point blank range. It explodes, and the men are covered in its blood (though its color cannot be determined since the image is in black and white). There is a long silence.]

Bob: [Wiping gore from his face] Good thing I remembered to pack the explosive shells. I’ve really got to remember to specify ammo on my list…

[The bottom half of the Being skitters away, making for the door.]

Bob: [raising the shotgun] Oh for fuck’s sake…


About MysterMe

A Magical Mystery Tour Guide View all posts by MysterMe

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