Lacuna: Document 16

A summary of the video-feed from a miniature camera planted on Jordan Brown, the head Librarian of Lacuna. The spiral staircase which leads up to the Library from the back of the statue’s mouth in fact continues past it. This stairway is secret, accessible only by the Librarian himself. However, one of our agents was able to place this bug on his lapel which streamed about seven hours of data before it was discovered¹, giving us images of the Library’s upper levels.

The stairway continues upward for about seventy feet without stopping, climbing above the library’s ceiling. The first chamber it leads to appears to be the Librarian’s private quarters. Doors of maple and oak inlaid with silver open into a large room, with an oaken hardwood floor and walls paneled with mahogany. A four-poster bed sits in the center, on a red and gold rug, curtained in velvet which is red on the outside and black inside. Behind it, the upper half of the wall is taken up with a huge, circular, stained glass window. It is decorated with many strange symbols, sigils and images, though as a whole it resembles a cross between a mandala and a very colorful chrysanthemum. Its soft, kaleidoscopic light spills over the desk and chair before it and paints the room with luminance. This window is the statue’s “third eye”, positioned above and between the two larger windows set into its eyes, which light the main section of the interior below.

The wall to the left is filled with five sets of shelves, all full of books. Each has a small bronze plaque at the top. The two on the left are labeled “Fact”, the two on the right are labeled “Fiction”, and the one in the center is labeled “Magic”. The Fact books are organized by title, the Fiction books by the author’s last name, and the Magic books by some idiosyncratic and esoteric system we have not yet been able to unravel.

An upright piano sits against the center of the right wall, and above it hang a cello, a viola, and a violin, ascending in that order. On either side hang framed pictures and papers. There is also a glass-fronted cabinet in the right corner of this wall, the one closest to the door, in which are displayed all manner of curious objects.² In the other corner is a large wooden wardrobe. Between this wardrobe and the piano there is a door leading to a bathroom. The wall with the door is flat but the rest of the room is curved (it is the right side of the head’s interior). The floor and walls are the statue’s stone. There is a claw-footed porcelain tub and shower in the center of the room, a toilet at the crest of the back wall’s curve, and a sink in the center of the flat wall. A large, circular mirror is set into the wall above the sink.

The desk beneath the window is an antique, made of several different inlaid woods. The chair is mahogany, covered in black leather and pinned with oak. On the right side of the desk’s surface, there is a lamp with a shade of stained glass, and on the left is a replica “candlestick” style rotary phone, a large leather-bound notebook and an antique fountain pen. The desk itself even has an inkwell, in the upper right corner. In the center is a horned turntable. To the left side of the desk there is a cabinet full of vinyl records. To the right is another, shorter cabinet, which was not opened, but on which is a cigar humidor, a wooden pipe in a wooden stand, and many bottles of wine and spirits. The drawers of the desk are not locked, and contain seven notebooks, pencils, spare ink, and other sundries.

Inside the wardrobe, hanging in the open central cabinet, there is a a long black peacoat with a hood, seven three-piece suits: three black, three brown, and one blue, seven pairs of black, brown, and blue slacks, and seven black, seven brown, seven blue, and seven white collared shirts. Beneath them stand one black and one brown pair of leather shoes, one black and one brown pair of leather boots, and a large black umbrella. In the side drawers are twenty-eight pairs of black socks and black undershorts, seven black and seven white undershirts, one black tie, two red ties, two blue ties, one green tie, and one gold tie, one black and one brown leather belt,, several sweaters, long thermal underwear, one brown and one black pair of brown leather gloves, and a pair of black sunglasses. On a shelf beneath a mirror set into the door, he keeps a gold pocket watch, a brown leather wallet, a cartridge-fed fountain pen, and a ring of keys. Two bowler hats, one black, one brown, hang above the mirror.

Outside, the stairway continues up to a small stone antechamber. It is empty except for the hole in the floor through which the spiral staircase descends, and a set of double-doors directly ahead, made of ebony and inlaid with gold. They open into huge semicircular dome, the uppermost crown of the head. There is a skylight in the center of the ceiling, at the crest of the statue’s skull. Directly beneath it is a perfectly circular pool, surrounded by eight live, full-grown trees. Starting from the closest and proceeding clockwise, they are: Golden Ash, Alder, Blackthorne, Yew, Mistletoe, Oak, Apple, and Willow. The ground is carpeted with flowers and green grass. In the center of the pool stands a stone statue of a human being, submerged up to its neck in the water. Two birds live in this room, a raven and a dove, and so do two cats, one black and one white. The Librarian feeds the cats, but they still try to catch the birds, though (at least to our knowledge) they have never been successful.

¹The Librarian ascended the stairs to the uppermost chamber, fed the birds and cats, and meditated there for about an hour, petting the cats intermittently. He then descended to his chambers, selected several books from the shelves and a notebook from the desk, and read and wrote for about another hour. His concentration was broken only occasionally by his getting up to look out the window or at the objects in his glass cabinet or to play a melody on the piano. He returned both book and notebook to their places and then went to his wardrobe, opening each drawer in turn and muttering something about “goblins” and the “Super Sargasso Sea”³. He then hung up his hat and looked at himself in the mirror, at which point he noticed the camera attached to his lapel. His expression became stony, he snarled, and flung it to the ground, whereupon he crushed it under his heel.

²A full inventory of these is forthcoming pending further study of the footage and identification of various unknowns. However, a partial list can be found in Appendix B.

³The transcript of all utterances can be found in Appendix C.


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A Magical Mystery Tour Guide View all posts by MysterMe

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